Chrysalis phase...

The day seems a little bit brighter today and I don't just mean literally, but on that note, it was so good to see the sun again. I realize shutting out my friends wasn't the best thing for me... if I'm gonna make it through this nasty weather - I'm gonna need them. My girls... my beautiful girls - I didn't realize how much I needed you. Even just a few words of support from Japan.. from the Philz and right here in Brizzy, gave me enough strength to muster a smile - tomorrow may indeed be sunny again after all. Hannah, Verra, Gracie - I love you.

I admit, I'm not completely fixed but I have enough courage to handle it differently. I WILL find myself again, I WILL enjoy life again, I WILL look forward to traveling and Kevin... I WILL kick your ASS in MK again. So many things I put to the side because I was too scared they would eventually hurt me - like so many things that have hurt me this year. There is only one way to be in terms of that, and that is - over it. I've come to terms with the fact that I am still in development, under construction... in my cocoon. One day I am gonna shine and maybe the world will see me differently... maybe you will see me differently... for now I shall go work out... and then later... babysit - yay.........

ps. OMG GEOFF IS GOING TO JAPAN I'M SO JEALOUS AND SAD BUT HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR HIM AT THE SAME TIME ... so many mixed emotions... ;)